I need to stop baking. It turns out I am really good at it but I can not have this shit around. Actually let’s be honest here. I am fine with it sitting around because I have overcome all of my food related issues. But Billy is the COMPLETE opposite. Maybe it’s was because his mom didn’t let him have sugar when he was little or because she got him a cake that said Happy Birthday BILL the other day. Both equally traumatizing. Most people fall into those two catagories: Moderator or Abstainer. Billy is an abstainer… as in he has to abstain from eating treats because once he starts he can’t stop. I am a moderator. I can have one or two and be done with it. He got a pass this week though because it is his self declared Birthday Week, so we’ll get back to normal soon enough.
Except for when we went to dinner on Tuesday. I don’t know if you have ever been to a Brazilian steak house, but its is just a never ending meat fest. Like the place they went to in Bridesmaids before the dress fitting but without the shitting in the sink or puking on your friends head. There was no moderation or self control to be had in this place and it was wonderful.
After the burn victim incident last week Billy was on antibiotics that he wasn’t supposed to drink on. I am not one to believe the internet, but when people tell you that you will projectile vomit out of both ends that kind of makes you pause. So we decided to take a week hiatus from the few drink a night habit that somehow worked its way into our life. AND GUESS WHAT. I literally almost have abs after 10 days. Like I have those side lines. What the shit were we doing?? I know that liquid calories add up but since we were maintaining I didn’t really think about it. But besides the weight gain potential. alcohol jacks up your body in a lot of different ways. It can affect your cardiovascular function for days after, disrupt sleep, dehydrate you and turn you into an asshole. And now we are basically rich from the money saved. Win.
Anyway, Saturday we did a Shawshank Redemption themed escape room and I have never felt so stupid. I KNOW the teenagers running the place were dying watching 6 adults try to get out of 3 little jail cells. Little ass holes. I wanted to do the Harry Potter room BUT IT WASN’T MY BIRTHDAY. Next time.
Yesterday there was a fake blizzard so I had off work! I was so productive I even washed my hair. Talk about free time. If you were stuck at home like me and dont feel like shoveling 900 pounds of slush and ice here are a few workout options!! Today was Insanity Max 30 Sweat which is a special personal hell around round 3 when the switch kick punches come in. However I still maintain that for my birthday I want to hang out with Shaun T. That shouldn’t be too hard for Billy to take care of right?
SNOW DAY CIRCUIT
- 20 Burpees
- 20 Plank with lateral weight drag
- Back lunge w/ shoulder windmill
- 30 Russian Twist
- 5 Pushups to side arm balance X 4
- Kettlebell swing
- Dips with alternating toe tap
- 15 Sumo squat w/ pulse
Complete 3 rounds with no rest in between exercises. 30 Second rest between rounds.
If you don’t have weights at home substitute with some bodyweight exercises like tuck jumps, plank toe taps, lateral lunges, squat jumps, distance jumps, crab walk, bear crawl or surrenders. Believe me. You will still hate me at the end.
* * I actually proof read this post because it turns out my high school english teacher read my last one. EMBARRASING. **